Beauty and the Geek
by sweetandsour1
Summary: What do you get when you pair a total geek with an absolute beauty?  One hell of a tv show, that's what! Come watch your favorites as they go through this ordeal in front of the entire nation. AH, OOC, M for mature content.


So, I thought I'd write a little fluffy story about an adorkable Edward...and a beautiful Bella. Come along for the ride, it's sure to be embarassing and awkward, but cute as all get out!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Beauty and the Geek franchise. Boo.

Chapter 1

_Edward_

Pocket protector? Check.

Tie straight? Check.

Unmanageable hair pasted down with enough gel to drown a small nation? Check.

Glasses straight and vest ironed just right? Check and check.

"Right-o, Ed man. Not too shabby," I muttered to myself as I waited for my transportation to arrive. I don't know who the heck I was trying to kid. Even the most socially stunted of people could tell that I was a total geek. Nerd. Dork. Pick a derogative name and I've heard it. Four eyes. Ednerd. Skeletor. People can be so unoriginal sometimes. What I wouldn't give for just a little originality, for someone to really stretch their mental capabilities whilst putting me down.

With a sigh, I left my apartment with bag in hand. I don't know what the fudge I was thinking when I entered a reality show in the first place, let alone _this_ reality show. This show that flaunted the flaws of intellectuals; that made light of the things that people like me went through every single day of their lives.

Actually, forget that. I knew exactly what made me accept this role, or should I say who made me accept it. James.

James had been my best friend growing up - in fact he was my only friend. His mum and my mum had been best friends for as long as I could remember, so it was natural that we spent most of our time together. I suspect though that Mary, James' mum actually paid him in later years to spend time with me. The older we got, the less he actually talked to me and recently it seemed like he was content to let me sit on the sidelines while he and his buddies chugged beer and chased anything in a short skirt. How this constituted a good time I do not know, but James always seemed to enjoy himself.

Was James an ideal friend? Absolutely not. Was he my only friend? Absolutely.

And this is how I find myself here; sweating bullets and with a nervous tic in my left eye.

James and his merry band of men thought it would be hilarious to send my picture and an application off to the latest hit show, 'Beauty and the Geek'. I didn't know anything about it at the time- I was so blissfully unaware that there were even shows like this around. If it doesn't involve warp speed or made up languages then I have no time for it.

At first I thought they were kidding me, like they are prone to do at any opportunity they get. Being the butt of almost every joke kind of becomes boring after a while, and I no longer take offence to anything that they say. But when I was handed the official paperwork from the network, I knew that I could no longer ignore the taunts and that I had to take this seriously. Thinking back to that night still irks me. What didn't I just grow a spine and tell him no.

"_Come on Ednerd, it will be hilarious. Like a total riot," James slurred as he high fived his nearest friend slash follower._

"_I cannot believe that you would do this. I have known you your whole life, James, and this is how you treat me?" I questioned him. I mean, I knew that he could be a jerk to me at times, but I still respected our friendship._

"_Eddie, Eddie. It's a done deal, my dork friend. You wouldn't want to embarrass me by pulling out of the whole thing now would you? Hey boys," he yelled loudly to his friends at the table, "Tell Ed here how hard I worked on that application. I mean, you wouldn't want to disappoint our mamas would you by disrespecting me like that." _

_I slumped in my seat, and he knew full well that I would never do anything to stand up to him, or to make my mother think that I wasn't happy with my life. She worries too much as it is._

"_No, James. You're right, it sounds delightful," I responded in defeat, knowing full well that in 4 weeks time I would be on national television. I would no longer be the laughing stock of Forks, Washington, but rather the butt of jokes across the nation._

See – spineless. I shook myself out of the memory and opened the front door to wait on the sidewalk for my car. Hopefully I would be out in the first week anyway and I could go back to my ordinary – if boring – life. The sooner I could get back on my computer and designing the better. I mean, I work by myself for myself, but the life of a computer game designer never stops. The next big thing is always just around the corner, and I for one, always want to be the one to design it.

Lucky for me, that's the way it had gone so far.

A car pulled up in front of me, and the driver hopped out to put my luggage in the trunk and opened the door. With one last sigh, I entered the car resigned to my fate. It was time to show the world what a spectacular dork Edward Cullen was.

_Bella_

"Rose, I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I whisper yelled as we stood out the front of our Californian bungalow.

"Oh hush, Bella," she replied. "You know as well as I do that this will be fun, not to mention all the possibilities that could arise for us."

"For you, Rose," I corrected her. "This is a great opportunity for _you_. I'm just along to fill the numbers," I added, wondering for the tenth kazillion time why the hell I agreed to this hare brained scheme in the first place.

She just sighed and went back to fluffing her hair and smacking her lips.

Rosalie was my best friend, my only true friend really. Sure, I had lots of acquaintances and hangers on because I was 'besties' with the great Rosalie Hale, but they were nothing more than sheep that agreed with what I said and kissed my ass in the hopes that I would promote them within Rose's social circle. Like I really give a shit about that.

My life is fine, I guess. Most people envy me. Some would call me conceited, some would call me a bitch, and the rare few would actually like me, but the fact remained. They all envied me.

On paper, I seem to have it all - wealth, brains, friends and an active social life. And let's not forget Beauty. Ah, yes – the very reason behind Rose and I standing here and waiting to be led off for some asinine reality tv show. Beauty – that quality that millions aspire to, are jealous of, will pay their life savings for. It's all quite a joke really.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that I'm particularly beautiful but I'm certainly not an ogre either. I guess you could say that I am happy with myself regardless, but I have never placed a very high emphasis on it. After all, it's in the eye of the beholder, isn't it?

So I find myself climbing into the car that the studio sent, and headed off to Los Angeles where I will spend weeks acting like a prissy girl whilst trying to mould some poor unfortunate into what society expects of them. I'm not a martyr by any stretch of the imagination, but if I could make just one person out there look further than skin deep, it would make me feel justified.

That was the main reason that I even applied for a spot on the show. Well, that and the fact that Rose sent off my application without consulting me first. As usual, when Rose wants something though, she gets it, and she really, really wanted me on this show with her. She is the one person in this whole world that I could never say no to, and this time was no different.

Hopefully, I may just get lucky and get booted out the first week of the show. Unfortunately, knowing my luck, I will be there to the very bitter, very humiliating end. I guess, only time will tell.

Thanks for reading, I know this one is short but they get longer - promise! Would love any feedback to let me know how I'm doing. I'm pretty new to this and would like to know if there are any peeps out there who want it to continue. Wouldn't you like to see more of Ednerd?


End file.
